


Pressing On (We're Gonna Make it After All)

by rabbitearedwarbler



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Gen, chapter 2 and 3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 12:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1858485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabbitearedwarbler/pseuds/rabbitearedwarbler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiyotaka Ishimaru was devastated after the death of (CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS) Mondo Oowada. He couldn't handle it anymore. However, Naegi refuses to let him be alone. This is basically exploring what might have happened had someone tried to comfort Ishimaru after the trial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pressing On (We're Gonna Make it After All)

**A/N: This wasn't originally a song fic (still isn't, really) but as I was writing I listened to "Pressing On" by Relient K and went "Ha, now it doesn't have to be untitled." Because it fits, kindasorta. They have to keep pressing on.**

**Sorry if it's OOC; I have very little experience writing Danganronpa characters--least of all Ishimaru--so this is all very new to me and I'm still learning. Any feedback and suggestions for improvement are appreciated :)**

**There are tons of DR spoilers (through Chapter 2) in this fic! Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoy it!**

**\-----**

**Pressing On (We’re Gonna Make it After All)**

            Kiyotaka Ishimaru couldn’t believe his eyes. One second Mondo was standing right next to him and the next he was just… **gone**. Kiyotaka wasn’t very socially intelligent, but he knew a true friend when he’d gained one. He felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He couldn’t watch it happen—couldn’t watch Mondo die in front of his eyes—so he didn’t.

            “Aniki!” he let out in a pained scream, collapsing on the ground. He found it difficult to breathe, taking in huge gasps of air as he sobbed desperately. He pounded on the ground, not caring that he was making a scene, because his aniki was  **dying**  and it was  _not fair, not fair, not fair._  Kiyotaka would have given anything to stop it. He prayed Mondo knew that.

            He stayed there on the ground, just crying, consumed by his thoughts and regrets. He didn’t move until someone addressed him. “Ishimaru-kun…” Kiyotaka startled; he hadn’t even registered that the execution was over or that the room had gone completely silent. He still didn’t respond.  _Mondo Oowada…victim #5._ There was no order, no organization in this place—worst of all, there was no morality. For the Super High School Level Hall Monitor, it was all just too much. There was no escape, none of the  **hope**  Naegi-kun kept preaching. This was Kiyotaka’s breaking point.

            “Ishimaru-kun?” the voice said again, but for the grieving teenager, all that was running through his mind was one word:  _why, why, why?_ He couldn’t focus on anything else. Kiyotaka barely registered the sound of light footsteps finally walking away.

            After what felt like hours, Kiyotaka had run out of tears to cry. He slowly pushed himself off the cold, hard floor, knowing he had to get up eventually. Face blank, he didn’t even bother dusting off his wrinkled uniform as he trudged to his dorm. He couldn’t stop replaying the beginning of the “punishment” in his mind, and the last words Mondo said to him were stuck on a loop. “I’m sorry . . .”

             **Boy** , was Kiyotaka sorry. He was sorry he hadn’t somehow stopped Mondo from visiting Fujisaki—poor Fujisaki-kun—in the first place. He was sorry he hadn’t bonded with Mondo sooner. He was sorry he didn’t push harder to help Mondo with his violence problem. He was sorry he hadn’t found a way to at least save him in the end. He was so very sorry . . .

            Kiyotaka’s train of thought abruptly jerked right off its tracks when he suddenly bumped into Naegi-kun. “Ishimaru-kun,” the brunet said for the third time since Mondo’s death.

            What was Naegi-kun doing, just standing outside Kiyotaka’s door? The student shook his head; he couldn’t bring himself to even tell the other boy to obey the nighttime rule. He tried to push past him and open his door, but Naegi-kun was persistent.

            “I know this is hard,” Naegi-kun began, “And I know it’s…it’s really scary.” He paused, seeming to be finding the words. “But at least talk to us; at least let us help and be by your side. Please.”

            Kiyotaka was still silent, feeling conflicted. On the one hand, he knew the others couldn’t really help, but on the other, he couldn’t get through this on his own.

            “N-Naegi-kun,” Kiyotaka said finally, and the other boy looked relieved. “You…should be heading to your room for some rest,” he said quietly when he made his decision. Naegi-kun visibly deflated.

            “Ishimaru-kun, please let me help.” Even as he said this, he reluctantly stepped to the side, no longer blocking Kiyotaka’s way.

            Kiyotaka opened the door wordlessly and took a few steps inside, leaving the door wide open and sitting on his bed, hands clasped loosely and head tilted down toward the floor. Naegi-kun hesitated outside the door, walking in a little; Kiyotaka didn’t protest—he merely shrugged—so the Super High School Level Luckster walked in all the way, shutting the door behind him and looking around the room helplessly before sitting next to Kiyotaka on the bed. “So,” Naegi-kun began, “Do you—?”

            “Upupupu~” a familiar voice cut in, and Kiyotaka’s blood ran cold. This— **this**  was the monster that killed his aniki, the one who threw them into this mess. He didn’t know how the bear had gotten into his room so quickly, and he didn’t care; Kiyotaka just wanted him  **out.**

            “W-what do you want, Monokuma?” Naegi-kun asked angrily. Kiyotaka was just trying his best not to cry again. He wanted to scream.

            “Naegi Makoto,” Monokuma scolded, “I’m only here to remind you of a certain rule.”

            “Huh?” Naegi-kun looked mildly confused. “What rule?”

            Kiyotaka pulled up the list of school rules in his mind, but he didn’t find anything that would be cause for Monokuma’s concern right this second. He stayed quiet.

            “Don’t you remember?” Monokuma tilted his head. “The school rules specifically state that you can’t rest anywhere but the dorms! So don’t fall asleep in here, Naegi!”

            Naegi-kun, however, was not buying it. “What? But we already went over this! The rules don’t say anything about having to sleep in your  **own**  dorm.” Naegi-kun appeared to be  **annoyed**  with Monokuma.

            The bear sounded dismayed. “Ah, you’ve caught me,” he said sadly. “I was hoping the fear of being punished would cause you to despair.”

            Kiyotaka flinched. That word...”punish”…it made the situation sound so much better than it was. It made it sound fair—like a consequence, discipline they deserved. Sugarcoating what was going on only made the words taste more bitter. No matter how you looked at it, this would  **never**  be orderly. It would never be  **right**.

            A few seconds later, Naegi-kun murmured, “He’s gone now,” and Kiyotaka saw him shifting to sit a little closer to him out of the corner of his eye. The hall monitor sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. He didn’t say a word, still—he  **couldn’t** speak after all that had happened. The atmosphere was heavy and it was a bit awkward, because it was becoming apparent that Kiyotaka had no intention of filling the silence.

            “I understand,” Naegi-kun spoke up suddenly, and Kiyotaka finally looked up at him.  _How could you possibly understand?_  “I was close to Maizono-san. In fact, she was the only person I felt I could trust.”

             _Oh._  “I just—I just figured you would feel…I don’t know…better? Knowing someone identifies with what you’re feeling.” He shifted uncomfortably. “I mean…I just felt so… **betrayed**  when I found out what she was planning. The first person I trusted here…she tried to kill Kuwata-kun and frame me!” Naegi-kun looked into his eyes now. “But I can’t…can’t even be mad. Not at her.”

            After a brief, slightly less awkward silence, Naegi-kun continued. “That’s how you feel, too, isn’t it?” he inquired softly, “You don’t blame Oowada-kun for what he did?”

            Kiyotaka’s eyes brimmed with tears once again, and he was shaking his head frantically because not only was it another reminder of what he just lost, but Naegi-kun hit the nail right on the head. The one time Kiyotaka finally got close to someone, it only ended in tragedy and heartbreak. He almost wanted to answer, but he didn’t. It didn’t feel right to speak a word when Mondo could no longer do even that.

            Naegi-kun seemed to understand regardless. “The only one to blame for all of this is Monokuma,” he said, no doubt whatsoever found in his voice. “And we’ll get through this. We will! We will do this, for everyone here and everyone that’s died.”

            Naegi-kun sounded so determined—so  _sure—_ that Kiyotaka was taken aback.  _How can you be so optimistic?_  He swallowed, taking a deep breath, inhaling with his nose and exhaling through his mouth slowly. As he took in another shaky breath, he couldn’t stop himself from crying once again. He wasn’t normally a very emotional person, but when something devastating happened, Kiyotaka couldn’t turn off the waterworks no matter how hard he tried.

            Naegi-kun hesitated, awkwardly shifting even closer to the taller boy, and Kiyotaka stiffened when he felt Naegi-kun reach around his shoulders in a sort of side-hug. After a moment he figured it felt kind of nice, even it was unusual to him, and he’d already let the other boy see him at his weakest, so why not? Kiyotaka took a breath and relaxed, leaning on his friend’s shoulder and finally letting his tired eyelids droop as Naegi-kun stammered out a surprised noise and hugged him fully, arms around the other tightly. Kiyotaka just cried and let Naegi-kun hold him, no longer caring.

            They stayed like that silently for who knows how long, when Kiyotaka heard Naegi-kun mumble something that sounded like, “Guess you want me to stay the night, then?”

            Kiyotaka couldn’t even bring himself to feel embarrassed. He just pulled away from Naegi-kun slightly, motioning to the light switch when Naegi-kun stopped hugging him. “Oh,” he said, getting up to switch the light off. He told Kiyotaka, “You’d better try to sleep.”

            They both knew that wouldn’t be happening, but they could still try. Kiyotaka moved to lie on his bed, afraid to shut his eyes. His heart pounded wildly.

            “Goodnight,” Naegi-kun said, lying on the ground with a pillow and two blankets. Of course, the only answer he got was silence.

 

***

            Kiyotaka opened his eyes yet again, staring up at the darkness. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Mondo—his eyes, his jacket, even his ridiculous haircut. He couldn’t take it. He knew if he managed to sleep he’d only wake up screaming. He’d always been prone to nightmares anyway.

            His throat was really dry. It was such a small thing to focus on, but he supposed he was bothered by this one thing to take his mind off the much larger issue.

            The black-haired boy slowly rolled out of bed, and the second his feet hit the floor he whispered, “Naegi-kun?” voice uncharacteristically soft.

            Naegi-kun was apparently a very light sleeper because he started shifting around sleepily next to his feet the moment Kiyotaka spoke. He blinked his eyes open, seeming disoriented, but made his eyes focus on Kiyotaka in a few seconds. “Yeah, Ishimaru-kun? Did you need something? Is something wrong?” he asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he sat up.

            Kiyotaka quietly replied, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep,” feeling wrong for expressing these thoughts so openly. “And I was wondering...do you think anyone would be upset if I went out there to get some water?” He motioned toward the door needlessly.

            Naegi-kun looked a little surprised. “I don’t think anyone would mind. You’re usually the one who cares most about those things.” He paused. “Do you…want me to come with you?”

            Kiyotaka shook his head before he paused. To be truthful, he was afraid. It was stupid, but he was scared. Well, maybe it wasn’t so irrational, considering what was happening in this school.

            Naegi-kun took that pause as his answer, getting on his feet and yawning. “Okay.”

            Kiyotaka’s heart rate sped up the moment they stepped into the dark hallway. He brought his water bottle with him, stopping at the first water fountain, Naegi-kun close behind. It was quick, and it was nothing, but still Kiyotaka relaxed when the door shut behind him.

            Kiyotaka nodded at Naegi-kun, a silent “thank you.” When Naegi-kun nodded back, he knew he understood.

            They both lied back down in their respective spots, and Kiyotaka wondered for a moment if Naegi-kun was uncomfortable, sleeping on the floor like that. Kiyotaka took first a sip, then large gulps until the water was gone.

            It didn’t help.

            Now that his tired brain had nothing else to focus on, he felt even worse than before. He rolled onto his side, shutting his eyes tightly and pulling the blanket up to cover his ear, other ear pressed into the pillow—to block out the monsters, like he did when he was younger.

            He thought he might look ridiculous, but it didn’t matter. Naegi-kun had already seen the worst of him anyway.

***

            The next morning Kiyotaka woke up to his alarm beeping at the same time he normally did; he hardly got a wink of sleep, but he had managed to finally fall into a state of half-consciousness around 3:00AM. His body felt heavy as he dragged himself out of his bed, noticing a snoring Naegi-kun on the floor by his feet. He kicked the brunet lightly in the side to see if he would wake up.  _Nope. Like a rock._

            Kiyotaka decided to cut him some slack for once and wait until later to wake him up. At least he was able to  **get**  some sleep. Kiyotaka sighed as he went to his closet and picked one of his many,  **many**  copies of his white school uniform to wear, realizing rather belatedly that he didn’t change into pajamas the previous night. For some reason, it was hard to care.

            By the time Naegi-kun finally stirred Kiyotaka had finished his entire morning routine; he’d dressed, showered, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and washed his face. All that was left was breakfast. It would be rude to just leave Naegi-kun there, he knew, especially with how grateful Kiyotaka was for his kindness and patience the night before.

            Naegi-kun quickly apologized and got ready for the day. They walked into the cafeteria together, where a few of the others had already gathered. The table was silent as the crew ate their breakfast; after 10 minutes or so everyone was finally there. He looked down at the tiled floor between his shoes. There were two—no, five—people missing who should have been standing there. His  **aniki**  was missing. It wasn’t right.

            He wasn’t going to cry again. Kiyotaka just felt numb. He didn’t speak once the entire day; he just couldn’t. Mondo was dead, and though it wasn’t Kiyotaka who did this, he still felt like he was responsible for… **something.**  What gave him the right to speak?

            Even though he couldn’t say a word, Naegi-kun tried his best, and kept talking to him anyway. At first he was trying to get Kiyotaka to respond, but soon he just  **talked,**  continuing even when the others told him he should give up. Kiyotaka wondered if Naegi-kun knew how much he appreciated it.

            The others told them about Fujisaki-kun, and Kiyotaka’s spirit rose. It was irrational, he knew, but the first thought that came to mind was that if he could still speak to Fujisaki-kun somehow, didn’t that mean the programmer’s spirit was still there? He asked them quickly where the ghost was, feeling desperate. If he could apologize for what Mondo had done, and see if Fujisaki-kun didn’t hate him, it might take this awful weight pressing down on him and relieve it, at least a bit.

            When Naegi-kun told him softly that it’s not really Fujisaki-kun, and it’s not a ghost, Kiyotaka didn’t want to believe him. He wanted to ignore him; at first he was so caught up in his emotions that he did. After all Naegi-kun had done for him and all they’d both been through, though, he knew he had to listen to him. He had to trust him when he said Alter Ego wasn’t even a person.

            Feeling severely disappointed, he followed everyone to the computer, smiling sadly when the AI changed itself to look like Mondo. That’s exactly what his aniki would say—at least he hoped so. Even if it was irrational, he walked away with his heart feeling a little lighter.

            Kiyotaka trailed behind Naegi-kun most of the day, and the latter didn’t seem to mind. Mondo remained on his mind the entire day. He wished so much they could have gotten to be so much closer. When the two of them were alone, Naegi-kun didn’t talk much, and Kiyotaka didn’t talk at all. It was fine, though. He could tell Naegi-kun understood. It meant so much to him that Naegi-kun was willing to help him through this.

            He didn’t know what he would do if Naegi-kun hadn’t waited up for him last night. He didn’t want to know. Even with this hole in his chest and the guilt weighing down on his shoulders, Kiyotaka knew they were making progress. He knew if he just started opening up to people more—although it might hurt sometimes—they could help him through this. Overall, even though Kiyotaka couldn’t say he felt  **better** , he almost certainly knew he would, in time.


End file.
